


Twilight Sucks Less

by GodIsWearingBlack



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: Bella Bashing, Bella is still good, F/F, F/M, Parody by a disapointed fan, also hate, and we love her, but an idiot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-06
Updated: 2016-08-06
Packaged: 2018-07-29 19:18:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7696189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GodIsWearingBlack/pseuds/GodIsWearingBlack
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>a realistic (kinda) yet humorous remake of Twilight</p><p>features a gay Rosalie, a likable Edward, a grungy Jasper, and Bella being knocked down ALL the pegs.</p><p>P.O.V.'s from Edward, Bree, and Kennedy(f!oc).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Twilight Sucks Less

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me if this is something you'd be interested in me writing

I never thought that at such a young age would I die, fall in love, and eat a platypus.

I would have settled for sixteen cats but oh well.

This is the story of how I, Kennedy Crow, seduced the biggest bitch in the universe, or at least Washington.

\---

Dying from influenza was more agreeable than courting Bella Swan. I would know, I've done both.

Fuck I hope Esmse remembers to buy my shampoo.

\---

So I'm not dead? You're deciding not to kill me? Shit that sounds awesome? Am I still Homeless?

No? I get to sleep in the basement? That cool, do you have any hamburgers?

At least I don't look like I swallowed glass and then chocked on my evening of nails.


End file.
